The Forgiver or the Forgiven

"Forgiving is looking at the person who has offended you in a totally different way: through the eyes of charity and love. It's a hard thing to do, but it can change a life because forgiveness breathes new life into a relationship and changes the chemistry between two people--from bitterness to tenderness"---Daphne Rose Kingma

This week I had purchased some new books, I love reading! I don't know too many who do now-a-days.  Within my reading this quote was provided and has such perfect timing for me in my life.  Not too long ago I posted about moving forward from your past. Two big blocks of my life was my ex best friend and my ex boyfriend.  It's crazy how life can make a full circle, life is really about cycles and rhythms, and it's up to YOU what you are wanting to do with them.  My ex boyfriend contacted me again, even after I didn't respond to his emails of him wanting to talk to me.  I won't get too much into the message other then the fact that he found God, closer then usual, and couldn't "move on" without basically my forgiveness for what he had done to me <without admitting that he did anything wrong>. Being a spiritual person who understands religion. (I went to a Catholic high school, Christian middle school) I know that forgiveness is a big role in both beliefs, when Jesus forgave our sins on the cross. Through every chapter in the bible there is some form of being the forgiver or being forgiven.  As Jesus story proves, being forgiven is no easy task. Can I say that I have forgiven him, my ex?
 I have forgiven my fault in dating him (ha!) Do I forgive him for cheating on me? I forgive him enough to move on, not to respond to his messages with a care of wanting to be in contact with him, and for me to write about him in this post, on my blog for the last time. I will say seeing his message appear in my inbox and him talking all high and mighty, saying he loves me as a sister in faith (now) truly irritated me. And yet with him saying so much about God, he did not admit his faults (repent), without admitting faults. Still thinking that it was just a "big misunderstanding", if at all. Cheating is not a big misunderstanding, especially if you have a history of it. So as I had told him,  I'm leaving him and that "relationship"in God's hands, for God to forgive him. 

     "You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well" --Lewis B Smedes

                      On another note, my ex best friend<the most recent>, she recently emailed me too.  I haven't told her this, but my ex and her, whenever something was going on, both of them would pop into my life at the same time. So I expected her to get in contact with me, but not for the reasons that the emailed explained.  She had read my blog post about her, and on top of that, she had been thinking about me for a while, and more for the past week.  She didn't want me to go through life, especially if anything happened to her and I,  remembering her by the hurtful things she said.  She went on to explain deeper emotions and thoughts that I didn't expect for her to share, or feel.  I was shocked, happy, and confused all in one. I had contemplated whether or not to reply, with a "yes let's see where this can go again", or reply with "thanks for sharing but I rather not open that door back open".  After speaking with my mother and meditating about it. I believed that she and I deserved a second chance at our friendship.  The fact that we BOTH could admit our wrongs, and able to hear each others view openly, and understand it, (whether agreed or not) shows that a second chance is worth giving. Of course it will definitely take time to see if we will ever get to the level we once was, <maybe it's best that we dont, and go beyond that>. The past week she and I have been exchanging emails, similar to how it was a few years ago, we called it back then our facebook diaries.  Goes to show how communicating without our feelings leading the way, clouding our view, can go a long way.  These emails remind me of why I had called her my soul sister, and was so devastated when things went the route it did. In this case with this much positivity and happiness coming from understanding and emails deserves a second chance in my book.  It will take time for us to forget, but forgiveness it's always important and I know that I have forgiven her, and I feel that she has forgiven me as well.

Forgive/Forget comes with different territories, depending on the situation. In my current experience,  at times it's best to keep a door closed, such as my ex boyfriend, and at times, some people, friendships, and relationships deserve second chances, my best friend. YOU need to be the judge of that, as to what you expect from someone and of course yourself.  Not all things are meant to be recycled. 

Much Love-Stay blessed,
Miss Ember