A pulsating breeze stretched and swallowed the sun,
Birds laughed outside my window as tears engulfed the rusted metal sky,
What some would call a misplaced sun kind-of-day,
A tidal wave of interruption shipwrecked my conscience’s joy,
Believed to believe I was dragged here without a reason,
Lies of course,
Sinker anchored at my ankles to submerge, dissect and rummage through
an empty sack of possibilities and broken hearts,
a funeral,
resurrecting ghost steps and goodbye lullabies in my soul’s bones,
nominating me to grope this madness,
In a race to my next frustration my initial excitement roams aimlessly away
as my frame now fragile from the slow stirring of a quiet pain,
I don’t want his name in here,
an intruder boldly invading my mind eventually to possess my heart,
the word “always” swims along my lips, knotted around my throat,
if you were to listen to the waves in my heart you would hear
articulated tiny, repetitive explosions of fears,
suicidal questions of the heart,
drumming intimate coded messages behind my restless eyes,
my stubbornness working overtime to confiscate my thoughts,
my feelings,
my- you know, the shit no one likes to confess,
and on occasion we fail,
catch its breath and call it “that’s life”
so I’m left with…
with struggling with you,
You make me become a spiritual rebellion,
Coveting you,
with a pinch of shame,
Catapulting me to change each glance into a gaze,
Notice the curve of your lips and how it reveals that infamous smile,
or the glint of your eyes that is just…
simply right,
sweet paradise let me be your Earth,
celestial glory,
a touch of fantasy fused with lust,
a chemist of pleasure and pain,
I would love to play the part,
I’d like to keep you all to myself,
in no mood for substitutes,
So continue to show me what I’m looking for,
and hopefully I can show you
what you need to feel…
